8 months

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8 months

This month you turned from my little girl into a little inchworm. You no longer stay in one place and can scoot long distances on your tummy. You definitely move the fastest when you have your eye on something like the remote, my cell phone, or something completely new you have not had your hands on before. Now that you can move on your own, you think it is just pure torture to be left alone for even a second. If we leave the room you try and scoot after us and inevitably get your head stuck against something or just get frustrated because we are so far away. I am sure once you start crawling you are going to be under my feat constantly. You hate to be left alone. If you wake up in the middle of the night I can’t go into your room to check on you. If you see me you get hysterical and take forever to fall back asleep. It is a good thing you rarely loose your pacifier and don’t wake up a lot, because it is so hard for me to not be able to go and check on you. I know that it is only a matter of days before you decide that you don’t want me to rock you to sleep anymore and want to be a big girl and put yourself to sleep. You are growing up so fast and while you love being able to do things and follow after your brothers I just can’t seem to soak up enough of you. You are starting to feed yourself and are getting so good at it you are stuffing it in your mouth and chocking on it. Puffs are your favorite. You light up and scream as soon as you see me with your Puffs container. You jabber the whole time you are eating them. Your jabbering is changing all the time. It is hard to write down the sounds you make, but this month you started to smack your gums together like an old man making abb, baa, baa sounds. You also started to wrinkle your nose up and snuff like a little pig. It is one of the stranger things you have learned to do, but it is still so cute. You enjoyed your second photo shoot this month and as always were all smiles. You take after your brother Andrew and love to smile with your whole face; you squint your eyes and keep your mouth wide open. You have enjoyed standing for a few months now, but you don’t like to do it on your own. You are definitely more cautious that your brothers and find security in having someone help you or simply sit right beside you. You also take things in stages. You spent a few days working on pulling yourself up onto your knees then once you got that down you started to pulling yourself up to standing on your feet. Your favorite place to stand is with Daddy holding on to the side of the bathtub when your brothers take a bath. You love watching them and enjoy getting splashed a little. I know that it is only a matter of days before you get soaked standing next to the tub. We will see what you think of your brothers then. You definitely let us know when you are mad, but you can never seem to stay mad at your brothers for long. They are your favorite people to play with. Nathan enjoys singing Itsy Bitsy Spider to you and Andrew styles your bald head with a hair brush. You are the little joy of this family. You light up all of our lives. I know that your dad, brothers, and I could never imagine life without our precious little girl.

Kayla climbing into Big Brother's lap. If you look closely you can see green bath crayon on her forehead, courtesy of her brothers.

Enjoying a good snuggle before bed.

Nathan Singing to Kayla

The boys LOVE music right now. They are constantly singing and playing their favorite songs on all their toys. I have been trying to catch their singing on camera but they always get shy and stop when they see the camera. Today I was able to convince Nathan to sing to Kayla. He definitely likes to be a big brother and loves how she interacts with him.

Life is not fair.

Life is not fair. I know that we all know this, it is one of those lessons we learn in Kindergarten along with sharing and not eating glue. But even as adults is it a struggle. In the last few days I have talked with friend about various losses and struggles. Why does an amazing mom have to deal with the reality of possibly not having any more kids? Or a loyal friend has to be left stranded when a great friend simply walks out of her life. Why do little girls have to grow up to be teenagers and have emotionally hurtful fathers who cause years of pain and therapy to overcome? Life is just not fair. I see daily blessings in my life and the life of others around me. I know God is good and that we have sooo much to be thankful for. But still let’s be honest life stinks some times. I realize that if I really think about it, I don’t want life to be fair. I don’t want to have to live by the lowest common denominator. The reality is I don’t deserve any of the blessings I have and have received more mercy and grace than I could ever imagine. I know all that and I am confident that my friends who are struggling with loose and pain know that as well. But sometimes because we know all that we don’t give ourselves permission to morn, or permission to be frustrated. A lot of times we just need to have a good heart to heart with God, be honest with him about our pain, our fears, our loss. He knows our hearts; he is not shaking his fingers at us because we should be grateful rather than tearful. So if you are dealing with loss, in pain, frustrated, or just simply a sleep deprived mommy, take some time to cry it out. Crawl up on God’s lap and have a good old heart to heart. Let him join you in your brokenness and wipe away your tears. Life is not fair, luckily we know we have paradise waiting for us.

7 months, way too late

Well little girl, I feel like you have just out grown the second baby phase. The first was your infancy; the second was small wiggly lump stage. Now, you are becoming more and more like a little girl every day. Now you roll around on the floor and are able to sit up. You definitely see things you want and go after them. People ask me all the time if you are different than your brothers. Yes little one, you are SOOO different than them. You are so calm and content but the second you get upset about something you get really upset. You know how to express your feelings, and you continue to cry and whine until you are convinced that I understand, you are definitely a girl. Even though you are not as talkative as you were when you were younger you are still so social. Every time we are out people comment on how smiley and happy you are. You love being tied to mommy in the Moby and enjoy looking out at everyone as we shop around. While you love being social, you only like to left with people you are really comfortable around. So far other than mommy and daddy that is Babci and Nana. You also did well with Christin since she stayed with us for several days. If anyone else is around and I am not close by you get anxious that I am going to leave you and get upset. This month you mastered the eating solid foods and sitting up. You also officially cut your first two teeth on the bottom. It seemed like you were teething for months, but now they are finally here. This is also the month you started to sleep like a little girl and not a swaddled baby any longer. I tried to stall this change as long as possible, but as soon as you turned 6 months you started to roll over on your tummy when you were swaddled. So you won and the blanket is officially off. You love to be able to move around and sleep on your tummy, but it still took you a few days to get used to sleeping without cramming your face against the side of your crib. You still have a special bond with your daddy and it is growing stronger all the time. I can’t exactly explain it but you light up when he is around. I think some how you already know you are Daddy’s little princess. You know there is something unique about his love for you. I hope you always remember that you are Royalty; you are the daughter of the King. While we love you always and forever no matter what, God’s love for you is so much greater. You are first and foremost His princess. He was the first to fall in love with you, I am proud to be the second.

the joy of boys

Even thought I wanted a boy and a girl when I was pregnant with twins, I was ecstatic to find out they were both boys. I have really enjoyed having two little men running around my life. For reasons I can't really explain I am glad God gave me two boys and not one of each. However, raising boys is pure craziness. Brad and I are both logical people, and well toddler boys just are not logical. Sometimes it is hard to remember that when they are spraying my ceiling with water, hitting their heads against the wall, or running around with their eyes closed. Recently I set out to find out the answer to one question. "Why do boys insist on throwing everything, and touching every button no matter how many times we tell them not to?" So I turned to Dobson's book "Bringing Up Boys". I have just started it but the first chapter made me smile.

While I joke about wanting to know "Why do boys insist on throwing everything, and touching every button no matter how many times we tell them not to?" The truth is it is very important to me that my boys are boys. I believe that God created men and women unique and different from each other for a reason. I, just like every women can get frustrated by how weird I think men are, but the truth is I love how God designed us differently and the beauty behind two becoming one. So as a mom of two boys, I want to raise to boys. And in raising them as boys I needed a little help in understanding them. Let me clarify that I don't buy into the idea that men don't cry, need to be macho, should be void of all emotion, and are allowed to be rude and disrespectful. I also don't believe that my boys should never play with dolls and should stay out of the kitchen. I just know that I should not be surprised or upset when they launch the doll in the air, or empty the salt canister when making cookie dough. Dobson captured my heart on raising boys to be men in this quote; "Their (parents) assignment during two brief decades will be to transform their boys from immature and flight youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers and secure in their masculinity." Obviously we above all else want to raise them with a understanding of God and a passionate genuine relationship with Christ, but that is the same prayer we have for all our kids, boys and girls.
Raising boys is not an easy task. Today was not a great day in our house. The boys and I had to leave there gym class early because one had no impulse control and the other could not stop throwing a fit for no reason. I know it was just one of those days, and I know they happen to every mom. But it still was not easy. Even though I am gaining a better understanding of why boys act the way they do, I still struggle with not comparing them with all the quiet little girls sitting nicely in line acting like perfect little angles. Today was a day I needed to keep reminding myself; they are boys, they are only two and a half, they are leaning, they will get it, you are a great mom, some days are just rough. Today was a day I needed to pray for more grace. Grace to give my boys, and grace to give myself. Raising little men is soooo much fun, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. But some days are just rough, some days just need extra grace.

"Boys have the tendency to leap and then listen... They risk life and limb for no good reason...Boys are slower than girls to learn from calamities. They tend to think that their injuries were caused by 'bad luck'. Maybe their luck will be better next time. Besides, scars are cool."
Bringing Up Boys by Dobson

Kayla's latest noises

Tummy Scoot

Learning to Crawl is hard work.



So it turns out she is like her brothers. She is scooting after the camera.