I'm a Minivan Mom

This week I was able to reconnect with an old friend. She was in the area and decided to stop by. The first thing she commented on how I was driving a minivan. Even though we have not seen each other in over a year we have stayed in contact. She knows I have 3 little ones in car seat so driving a minivan should not be a surprise, and yet she mentioned it several times. I was not quite sure why she kept bringing up our van, especially since that is exactly what she was driving around town. I have been thinking about her visit and I keep coming back to her comment on our van, I figured it out. When I stepped back and looked at my life from her perspective I realized this red dirty minivan is a significant symbol of my life and how much had changed over the past few years. This friend started out as a team teacher; she quickly became my mentor s well as a dear friend. She was one of the first few people we told when we decided to try and have a baby. She was there when I was unsuccessful at getting pregnant and started fertility treatments. She would come into my classroom on days I was away undergoing fertility treatment and get the latest heartbreaking medical updates from my mom. (My mom was able to substitute for my class, which was a huge blessing especially when I had to miss more days than I wanted for Dr. appointments). This friend would cry with me and continually encourage me with hope. She said she just knew I was going to get pregnant and that I was going to have 3 boys, a thought that completely terrified me. This friend knew me back when, back when all I wanted to be a mom and I was afraid my dream would never become a reality. Back when a cool Rav 4 was all I needed to get around town in. I am sure my friend did not have any hidden deep meaning behind her surprise about my minivan. Yet her comment reminded me of how a simple everyday item symbolized how far we had come and how many prayers God had answered. Her visit took me back to what sometimes feels like a different life altogether. God brought us through our struggles to get pregnant on our own, fertility treatments, a miscarriage, taking a break from fertility treatments, making the decision to do in vitro, the lovely hormone filled process that is IVF, a high-risk twin pregnancy, and c-section and NICU babies. And that was just the process of having the boys. He has answered so many more prayers by giving us our little girl. My life seems so different now, I am a minivan mom. Although that time seems like a past life not a day goes by when I don’t reflect back to some aspect of our pregnancy trial. As I stay in touch with some friends, and reconnect with others I realize that something unique happens to friendships when they go through trials. The shared pain, tears, trust, vulnerability somehow glue them together. I hope to see this friend again, but even if I don’t she will always be a glue friend because she knew me back when. Back when I dreamed and prayed to have a baby, back before I was a minivan mom.